Practical steps to take when considering separation or divorce

Posted 18/01/2018

There are both emotional and practical considerations which come into play during a divorce/separation.

Whilst your divorce solicitor will be able to provide you with practical support and help, one of the best things you can do from the outset is to speak to friends and family members. Alternatively, your solicitor will be able to signpost you to obtain support from a local family counsellor. Don't rush into making a decision without first getting the right emotional support and help. The decision you will make is likely to have consequences for a number of people so it is important that you make the right decision.


If you decide that you wish to commence proceedings then your solicitor will require your marriage certificate, so it will be necessary to locate this or request a duplicate copy from the register office or the church at which you were married. It may even be necessary to obtain a translation of the certificate if you were married abroad.


It's important to provide your solicitor with a detail of your income, assets, debts and pensions, so you can take a practical step by starting to collate this information at an early stage. If you own a property then contact a local estate agent to obtain an indication of the current value of the property, they will often provide valuations for free. Quite often it takes several weeks to obtain pension valuations so contact your pension provider at an early stage to obtain details of the value of any pensions you hold. If you have opted to have a paperless account then request copies of your bank statements which are generally needed for a 12 month period.


If you have children, then consideration will need to be given as to when and how you tell your children about your decision to separate. It is good if you are able to agree a narrative together about what information you provide to the children and also agree when you are going to tell your children. These decisions will need to take into consideration the children's ages and level of understanding.  Try your best not to place blame on either party and answer your children's questions and concerns at a level they will understand.

Get advice from a divorce solicitor

Speak to a family solicitor who will be able to discuss with you the various options available to you. Your solicitor’s advice will include giving you guidance on how to agree issues relevant to your divorce such as children and/or the division of the matrimonial assets. Your solicitor will be able to explain all of the difference process options to you such as kitchen table negotiations, mediation, collaborative law, round table meetings or the commencement of court proceedings. They will help and guide you to find the best process for you and your family taking into consideration your needs and financial circumstances.

Ensure that you take along to your first meeting with your divorce solicitor a list of the questions you wish to have answered. Your solicitor may not be able to answer all of these questions at the first meeting but it will help us to understand your most pressing concerns.

Contact Holmes & Hills Solicitors

At Homes & Hills Solicitors we provide advice on a wide range of Family Law issues, including divorce and separation, as well as all of the financial and children issues that your separation may involve.

 Contact Holmes and Hills family team on 01376 320456 (Essex) or 01787 275275 (Suffolk) to learn more about our family law team. 

Sue  Wardropper

Posted 18/01/2018 by:
Sue Wardropper
Senior Solicitor in Family Team

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